5 ways to overcome the ‘clingy boyfriends disorder’

Posted on Apr 28 2014 - 11:10pm by IBC News

Can’t make a plan with your gal pals without your boyfriend sulking about not being invited? Annoyed that your man checks on you more than five times a day? Having a boyfriend who dotes on you is one thing.But an obsessed one can make life a bit too stifling.

We show you five ways to deal with a clingy beau without losing your cool.

How clingy is clingy? Know the range from lover to stalker

The first step when trying to determine how to deal with a clingy boyfriend is to go by your gut instinct. Good night texts are okay.

Even pet names are okay as long as you like the name given. But is he constantly checking your texts or insisting on sleeping with his leg over you when you despise it? You need to consult your inner cling-o-meter to know how much is too much. You really shouldn’t be feeling stalked instead of feeling courted. Depending on how much you feel for him, you will find a way to deal with it.

SOONER you discuss it, the better it is for both of you

Neediness is kind of romantic at first and will most likely slip under your radar while you’re blissfully floating on that fluffy cloud nine — don’t worry about it, that’s perfectly normal.

You shouldn’t keep quiet about it when it does start bothering you, though. It is understandable that you don’t want to hurt his feelings and would really love it if your guy could just take the hint, but trust us; you need to speak up before this drives you totally insane and ruins what might have been a great relationship.

It’s okay to say ‘no’ sometimes

Some guys feel the need to be around their girls 24/7 and some girls just love it. Unfortunately though, most men bracket women into the category of humans who love the attention and the companionship all the time. If you aren’t one of those girls, well, time to practice your diplomatic skills. There’s no point in shutting him out if you want to live life on your terms. If you aren’t okay with him walking you home from work/college, being your shopping buddy for the day and whatnot, you should politely turn him down and offer to see him later or another day. Bear in mind that there’s no shame in having other plans, not being in the mood or wanting to do something alone. Frankly, the sooner you accept that, the sooner he will too. The honesty will help him as well.

Be aware of the love you’re expressing

Hard as it may seem to accept that you have a role to play in his clinginess, it might serve you well if you just reflected on your contribution to his behaviour. If you have a reason to believe his clingy behaviour is a result of some “out of sight, out of mind†fear or insecurity, you might want to consider doing your best to put him at ease. We’re not suggesting that you should start professing your undying love every half an hour, lying or exaggerating, but you should let him know that you’re not going to run off any minute and that he doesn’t need to keep an eye on you 24/7. By spelling out your feelings from time to time, you prevent him from falling into the darkness of depression.

Avoid being secretive about outings

There is no doubt that a clingy boyfriend can drive you up the wall. But that doesn’t mean you switch him out of your plans. Secrets provoke curiosity and well… humans are a curious species, after all. Don’t torture the poor guy by making it seem like you’re working for the Intelligence Bureau. It’s not only pointless but is an extremely unfair situation to put him in. Have you considered the fact that the more you voluntarily share, the less inclined your guy will be to call you, tag along or ask tons of questions? Don’t leave the onus on his questions alone. Sharing is caring, as it turns out, because it helps partners feel connected even when they are not going out together.